A former soccer coach in Oklahoma is in jail, facing charges of child sex abuse and engaging in a pattern of criminal offenses.
According to the former student, his former coach abused him for five years when the accused worked at his school in the nineties. The former student has publicly aired his sexual abuse claims against the former coach on Facebook and Substack for a number of years. The victim states, "I was groomed, and when you are inside of a tornado, you don't know you are inside of a tornado."
The former student said, several years ago, he recorded a conversation with the accused perpetrator, in which he admitted the abuse. The FBI got involved, and the offender quit his teaching position. After investigating the allegations, the Oklahoma State Board of Education suspended the former coach's teaching certification in 2023.
Other men have come forward with allegations of sexual abuse by the former coach that allegedly occurred when they were students. They have filed a civil lawsuit against the school, the former coach, and his wife, who is also the former superintendent. The plaintiffs allege the former superintendent knew about the abuse and did nothing.
It is alleged the couple owned a Dairy Queen in town, which they used to groom and charm underprivileged boys. Erin Christy "Former Wetumka coach, teacher arrested on child sex abuse charges" https://www.kjrh.com/news/local-news/former-wetumka-coach-teacher-arrested-on-child-sex-abuse-charges (Aug. 22, 2024).
Commentary and Checklist
Grooming is a method that sex offenders use to gradually initiate and maintain sexual relationships with victim in secrecy.
On the surface, grooming can look like a close relationship between the offending adult, the targeted victim and the victim's family or caregivers. However, grooming allows sex offenders to slowly overcome natural boundaries long before they sexually abuse their victims.
Grooming requires the opportunity groom, but also some attractive or power element – like owning an ice cream store or having an exalted position in the school community, of school coach and superintendent.
Here are common perpetrator behaviors school communities should be on the watch for:
- A desire to be with children/students or one particular child/student without other adults present
- Goes to great lengths to build trust with children/students and adults around them
- Looks for and/or creates opportunities to be with children/students away from parents and other adults
- Provides gifts, money, or attention to children/students without parent, caregiver, or organization knowledge and/or consent
- Takes and collects images of children/students not related to them
- Acts like a child/student and does child-like things to receive attention from children/students
- Prefers the company of children/students to adults and/or is uncomfortable around adults
- Wants children/students to view them as preferable over other adults
- Fixates on one or a few children/students while ignoring others
- Gives special permissions, such as, increasing grades without merit, allowing students to sleep in class, or allowing children to bend organizational rules
- Asking a student to stay after class alone without other adults/students present
- Communicates directly to children/students online or other means without parent, caregiver, and/or employer knowledge
- Disrespects or demeans parents, caregivers, and other adults to children/students
- Frequently touches children/students, sexually or otherwise
- Makes sexual comments or uses sex speak around children/students
- Makes comments to children/students about their bodies or appearance
- Views, stores, and shows pornography to minors
- Provides alcohol or drugs to children/students or permits children/students to abuse alcohol or drugs in their presence
- Has coercive sexual fantasies
- Is impulsive and has antisocial tendencies
- Prefers impersonal sex
- Is hostile toward women
- Has a childhood history of sexual or physical abuse
- Talks about sexual activities regarding children, students, or teens
- Encourages children/students to keep secrets
- Requests adult partners to dress or act like a child/student during sex
- Identifies children/students using sexual slang terms
- Frequently visits places where children/students are present
- Loiters in places where children/students are nude, semi-nude or can be viewed without notice, such as, bathrooms and locker rooms
